If you find it difficult to bond with your baby right after birth, there is no need to be nervous. It is a process that many mothers go through more than they think, and you can gradually build a deep bond through interaction with your baby. Learn more about bonding with your baby after giving birth in this article.
Difficulty forming a bond with your baby after childbirth is a very natural and common phenomenon, so there is no need to worry too much. This is because forming a strong attachment with a baby takes time and effort.
If you’re having your first baby or you’ve had a rough pregnancy, it can be difficult to bond with your baby right after birth. After giving birth, both body and mind are exhausted. In addition, hormonal changes can change the state of the body, and stress can also overlap, which can lead to a loss of relaxation.
At the same time, I am not disappointed or frustrated that I do not feel maternal love as I thought in a situation where everything about parenting was unfamiliar and uncertain.
Be patient and trust that you can bond with your baby. It is also a good idea to try to form a bond and attachment by referring to the following methods.
Things to know before giving birth
If you are an expectant mother who is about to give birth, you may be imagining things about the soon-to-be-born baby. You should also consult your obstetrician-gynecologist to choose between a natural birth or cesarean section.
As the time to meet with the baby approaches, the closer you get, the more pictures you draw in your head. Usually, one thinks of a mother full of love portrayed in the media, but the reality can be quite different.
If you listen carefully to the advice of experienced people around you, whether pleasant or not, you may be less embarrassed. However, not all children are the same, so there is bound to be a difference in bonding.
Bonding with your baby after birth
Some people say that a bond is formed as soon as you hold a baby right after giving birth, but as you know well, it takes time and effort to form a bond in any relationship.
There is no standardized way to become a mother or form a bond with children. At a certain time, in a particular way, a bond is formed and you realize that you are a mother.
While some mothers say that a bond is formed from the moment they find out that they are pregnant or after giving birth, some mothers say that their feelings for their child are not felt after weeks of exhaustion. However, as they gradually adapt to each other, a bond between mother and child will eventually be formed.
The formation of bonds between mothers and mothers differs from person to person and from time to time.
Points to note when it is difficult to form a bond with your baby after childbirth
As mentioned earlier, there is no set method for forming a bond between mother and child. But there are a few ways to help the process of naturally relying on each other.
Increase physical contact
Put the baby on the chest. At this time, if you like direct skin contact, you can put it on your bare chest, which is also called a ‘kangaroo hug’.
In particular, it can help regulate body temperature in a useful way for premature babies. If you hold the baby close and feel the breath and body odor, it is easy to form an attachment to each other.
Look into your baby’s eyes
Use your breastfeeding time to make eye contact with your baby. Your baby may not be able to concentrate at first, but soon the moment comes when they make eye contact.
This eye contact while breastfeeding is a good way to let your baby know that you are there. Once you get used to it, try listening to a specific piece of music whenever you are with your baby.
When you lie down and breastfeed, you feel as if you are one body with your baby. Sleeping with your baby also has a much more calming effect.
Gently stroking and massaging the baby promotes growth and development and strengthens the relationship between mother and child.
Rest is also effective
Newborns have many things to take care of day and night, so make sure that the mother does not bear all the burdens alone.
If you don’t need to be separated from your baby, other family members are also happy to help. Sufficient rest can put your mind at ease, and only when your mind is at ease can you be a better mother.
Be honest about your feelings
Contrary to what you might have imagined, if you eat and drink with your baby, you may stay up all night worrying about it. In this case, find someone you can openly talk to.
Talking to other mothers may reveal that they are all in a similar position. Let’s coolly confide the feelings we’ve built up in her heart.
Finding Your Self as a Mother
It may be strange why people don’t feel as attached to their babies as they say they do. The picturesque mother-and-child relationship that most people imagine is an ideal society created.
In other words, it can be a little far from reality.
There are many other mothers who struggle with bonding issues. Don’t blame yourself for anything, and don’t fit yourself into the perfect illusion created by society or the media. In 1949, the French philosopher Simone de Beauvoir once said, ‘Patriarchy regards motherhood as part of its instinct’.
Different cultures have different ideas about motherhood, so you don’t have to fit yourself into a set frame.
Give yourself time
Parenting experiences can vary from person to person, so don’t compare yourself to others and have a child when you’re ready.
There comes a moment when you feel confident in your relationship with your baby. Don’t be disappointed that she didn’t bond immediately after her birth or that she’s a bad mom.
Let’s have fun every day. Parenting is a journey alone for both mother and baby, but if you feel anxious, search for related materials or read and study related books.
Get expert help
If it’s been a few weeks since you gave birth and you don’t feel a special bond with your child no matter how hard you try, it’s a good idea to seek professional help. In particular, if you feel that her mother’s emotional state is unstable, see a professional to discuss it.
Surprisingly, there are many mothers who are worried about forming a bond with their babies, and it is an important issue as various studies on postpartum depression are being conducted. Use introspection exercises to make sure there are no problematic factors.
Again, no need to worry. Depending on your experience and time, you will soon be able to form a strong bond with your baby.