The act of listening is not simply a passive act. To be a listener, we shouldn’t try to focus our attention when someone is saying something.
The Importance of a Listening Attitude
This article discusses the importance of a listening attitude and how to listen.
It’s not easy to listen. Sometimes we believe that just by hearing what comes out of someone’s mouth, we are already a good listeners.
This is not true at all. Let’s take an example. I have two friends, one telling the other the story of a fight with her mother.
The friend who was listening to the story was worried, but as soon as the story was over, he started talking about a similar experience.
Was the second friend a good listener? no. Because the friend used the subject to tell about his experience and became a listener and then a teller.
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It can be seen that this friend was not actually listening to the friend’s story.
Mistakes You Make When Listening to Others
Maybe suspicious You can even say to yourself, “I’m still a good listener!”
Here’s why it’s important to mention the easy mistake we make when listening to others.
The first is the case mentioned above. When someone tells me something that worries me, I rather talk about my experience.
The second, more extreme, is when a friend who hears the story quickly changes the subject. For example, when a friend is talking about a fight with her mother yesterday, “What should I do? Anyway, how was yesterday?”
The third is when you listen to a story and take a serious situation lightly and say, “Don’t worry,” “Yeah, it really doesn’t make sense” or “It’ll be okay.”
And finally, the fourth mistake is giving advice or solutions that won’t help much.
Avoiding the interests of others
As you can see, all of these situations indicate that you haven’t listened to others very well. This is because, in the end, he told his own story based on the story told by others.
You may think of yourself as a listener, but in fact, you may want to tell your own story.
Listening means paying attention to addressing other people’s concerns and not disturbing them by addressing personal issues.
When we tell each other what to do, we need to pay attention to how we view the interests of others.
Of course, you can offer a point of view, but you shouldn’t tell them what to do or what not to do. Because it’s not our situation. When we say it this way, we are only trying to reveal ourselves through other people in the end.
How to listen well
If we don’t listen, our self-esteem or self-esteem is finally exposed. It may feel difficult to accept, but in the end, if you don’t listen, you try to avoid the interests of others.
So far, we have described the mistakes we make when listening. Since listening is so important, I’m going to explain how to be a good listener.
Take a look at the tips below and make sure you follow them.
- Don’t offer solutions: As already explained above, don’t offer solutions or tell us how to act. Instead, it is better to look at the situation objectively and ask questions so that you can make a decision. This is one way to listen well.
- Dig deep into the topic of conversation: Show that you’re listening by asking questions when someone is talking. “What do you think? An example is a question like “how do you do it?”
- Don’t talk about yourself: focus on what other people are saying. Don’t talk about yourself unless the other person asks you about your experiences.
- Don’t underestimate a situation: Never underestimate a situation, even if it doesn’t seem like a big deal.
I hope you now understand the importance of a listening attitude and how to do it. Listening means paying attention to what other people are saying instead of telling our story.
Stop thinking of listening as a passive activity. Listening is an active activity. This is why you need to learn how to listen well.